I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize