Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
