Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize