Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
