so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
