i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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