I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
