My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
There are leaves in my underwear?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
