I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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