I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
