i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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