I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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