Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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