you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
