This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
