I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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