Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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