You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
