So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Duck Duck Cougar?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
