ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
