My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
