I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
