your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
