Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
