you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
