i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
