He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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