All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
she woke up with a sticky ear
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
