found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
