Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
