just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
This is the high leading the old right now
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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