when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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