how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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