i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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