even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
