She went from zero to smokin in five shots
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
