DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
