see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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