Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
i out mim tonsoeep
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