Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
