"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
