Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
false alarm. still invincible.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
