He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
