you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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