I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Randomize