he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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