im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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