quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
