it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
