Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
