That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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