How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
