All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
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