Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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