you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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