I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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