My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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