Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
