dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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