She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
