Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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