i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
