Dual....:-)
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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