went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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