He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
she pinky promised me she was 18
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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