Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
