Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
