Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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