How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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