Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
