is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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