She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize