he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize