Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
