loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
